Resourcing that doesn’t keep you stuck
As we move into Phase 2 (Preparation) for EMDR, we all may have “pet resources” that we fall back on with clients. But as we grow in competence, we learn to follow the client’s own nervous system, not the protocol or our checklist. We have the freedom to be attuned to our clients and follow where they’re leading us, and that leads both us and our clients to feeling less frustrated and more empowered.
Here are some questions to use to help you tune in to what your client needs:
Is your client able to notice body sensations? Asking a client who isn’t able to notice body sensations, or doesn’t feel safe to notice them will be frustrating for you. Taking a step back to use somatic interventions is a powerful tool in empowering our clients and addressing their needs.
What negative cognitions are coming up? The same negative self-talk that impacts clients daily often shows up when we move into resourcing. I’m messing this up. I can’t do anything right. I have to push down those emotions. It’s not safe to feel calm. Stay curious about what your client is telling themselves and use this information to move forward.
What’s getting in the way? As Kendhal Hart wisely says, “If it’s getting in the way, then that IS the way.” The danger is a temptation to push through installation of a resource, but staying curious to what’s getting in the way and addressing these needs as they arise will lead to better outcomes. The negative beliefs our clients hold can help direct us as we move forward.
What’s the point of preparation? Does your client need to build regulation, do they need a form of containment of distressing memories, do they need to feel grounded in time and place, do they need to build self-compassion and self-nurturing, or do they need practice with dual awareness?
If you notice your own frustration growing, I’ve written a blog post on how to check ourselves as therapists and build our own resources so we can be as present as attuned as we can be for our clients.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you can download the Case Conceptualization Form (with some ideas for Phase 2) that has helped me in my work with hundreds of EMDR clients. You can also schedule a Discovery Call with me to see how individual or group consultation can help.